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Operation: A.M.N.E.S.I.A.
Operation: A.M.N.E.S.I.A. is for Agents Must Now Extract Superior from Immoral Antagonists is a Series Three/Series Two Codename: Kids Next Door fanfic. Notes Numbuh One episode Villains: Parent Teacher Organization of Eradicating Youngsters (mentioned), Delightful Children from Down the Lane, Windsor, Stickybeard, Hall Monitors and Honor Roll, President Jimmy and Anna KND Technology used: C.O.O.L.B.U.S., T.H.U.M.P.E.R., Tracking Device Villains Technology used: Memory Drain Machine, Ties, Sweet Revenge ship, Rulers Part One We Need A Vacation It is a busy day in the treehouse. The Sector V team is preparing for battle with PTOOEY, who had demanded for school to be kept open during the summer vacation, ensuring that there wouldn't be a summer vacation. Meanwhile, over in the Delightful Children from Down the Lane's Mansion, they are also busy, hatching another scheme against the Kids Next Door. Since their last homemade weapon, the Mansion Size Dehancer Ray, had not worked, the Delightfuls had bought a weapon-making kit. Using this, they fashion a brain-drain machine, which they immediately move outside and point the machine at the Sector V Treehouse. Brain Drain With the machine's long-distance tracking monitor, they pinpoint the exact location of Numbuh 1, train the ray to fire on him, and then release the lever. A greenish-purple beam (similar to the stupification ray) shoots out and, after traveling a significant distance, hits the target dead on, sending him flying toward the tree on which the treehouse is situated. When the KND see Numbuh One unconscious against the tree, Numbuh 3 immediately panics that he's dead, but Numbuh 5 just thinks he's knocked out. When Numbuh 2 shakes Numbuh One awake, One asks Two who he is, and the KND realize that Numbuh One has amnesia (real amnesia, not the kind caused by the Decommissioning Ray). Numbuh 4 rubs his hands, looking forward to commanding the team, but Numbuh Five yanks him away to help find a KND technology with which to return Numbuh One's memory. Numbuh One an Accountant? Whaa? While Numbuh One is sitting mindlessly against the tree, looking at the tree and the sky, a familiar shadow falls over him. It belongs to Windsor, now dressed in a brown suit identical to his father's. Windsor asks where Numbuh One's team is, but Numbuh One says he has no team, and asks Windsor who "this Numbuh One is"; Windsor realizes with delight that Numbuh One has amnesia. Windsor decides to make Numbuh One a corporate executive. ("He's not Vinnie, but he's the next best thing.") Windsor drags Numbuh One, whom he now calls Comrade Executive #1, off to Mr. Teal's Accountants and Co. (no longer called "Accounting and Son", due to Mr. Teal's rage at Windsor's failure in Op. KNOT), passing the team along the way. Numbuhs Two and Four recognize Windsor, and the team runs off to rescue their leader from the evil junior executive. Confrontation at Windsor's While looking for where Windsor took Numbuh One, the team breaks into Windsor's house. Windsor's room proves without any doubt that Windsor had always hated Moosk, with Moosk bull's-eye targets and pictures of the Tie Hunter with moustaches (and ties) drawn on them. Windsor finds them and, dropping Numbuh One, attacks the team. Numbuh Four tackles him, sending the Brit and the Aussie to the floor. With his free hand, Windsor summons ties to attack the team, and the ties fly out of his closet. The team try to fight off the ties without the ties turning them into businessmen. Numbuh Three comes to their rescue by spraying the ties with some Spray Starch (Windsor still had cans in his closet from his days as Moosk's partner). Part Two Arr Me Mateys, Battle Stations! Windsor flees with Numbuh One. The team pursues. However, when Windsor runs near the local library, he is accidentally knocked out by a burly Candy Pirate. Stickybeard tells the pirate that "That was Windsor, ye fool!" The pirate tries to apologize, but Stickybeard has turned his attention on Numbuh One, who is humming placidly to himself. Being the smart captain he is, Stickybeard puts two and two together, and tells Numbuh One that "ye would make a good pirate, ye would" and Numbuh One seems to agree. The team runs onto the scene just in time to see Stickybeard and his Candy Pirates, now joined by Captain Nigey, who seems to be second-in-command, take off in their ship. Numbuh Five slaps her head and says this day couldn't get any worse . . . . and then the team gets a call from Numbuh 65.3 that Knightbrace is raiding the toothpaste factory. The Plan Numbuh Four comes up with a plan: the KND minus Numbuh Three will disguise themselves as pirates and join the crew. Numbuh Three will distract the pirates when the time is right, and while the pirates are distracted, the rest of the team will grab Numbuh One. Numbuh Five actually admits that the plan's a good one . . . . for him. Numbuh Two reminds Numbuhs Four and Five that they need to rescue Numbuh One, and there's no time for arguments. Sector V Puts the Plan Into Action The KND each dress as pirates: Rot-Teeth (Numbuh Four), Goody Girl (Numbuh Five), and Sugar Dude (Numbuh Two; he couldn't think of a good pirate name, so he just used "dude"). Numbuh Two swipes a Ice Cream Truck that an Ice Cream Man left unattended, and the team uses it to attract the pirates. Stickybeard orders Captain Nigey to turn the ship around, and Capt. Nigey obeys. The pirates rush for the sweets, and while they are eating their hearts out, the KND sneak into the group. An irritated Stickybeard tells the pirates not to gorge themselves, so the pirates and the KND return to the Sweet Revenge, which takes off. Part Three Not You! Anybody But You! As the ship sails through the city, Numbuhs 2, 4, and 5 introduce themselves to Stickybeard, who says that they look familiar. Numbuh Five comes up the quick story that he must have seen them on their old ship, the Candy King, before the captain, James McDirt, kicked them off. Stickybeard accepts that, though Capt. Nigey is still suspicious, saying Stickybeard's "as thick as his beard", to which Stickybeard takes offense. However, before the team can put their plan into action, the Sweet Revenge crashes into Gallagher Elementary (thankfully, the school stays standing). However, the sound does alert two Hall Monitors who were patrolling Gallagher's hallways. President Jimmy vs. Everyone The Hall Monitors alert President Jimmy, who had reclaimed his position as Fourth Grade President after the events of Operation: VICTORY. Jimmy is delighted to hear that his most hated foe, Numbuh One, has amnesia and can easily be manipulated. Anna, on the other hand, is distraught. (Remember that Anna helped One infiltrate Gallagher Elementary in Operation: S.N.O.W.I.N.G.) Jimmy has the Honor Roll Nerds bring Numbuh One into his office, where Jimmy asks Numbuh One some questions just to make sure that One doesn't remember anything about the Kids Next Door, which he doesn't. Jimmy decides to make Numbuh One his assistant, replacing Anna (similar to Emperor Palpatine wanting to replace his assistant Darth Vader with Luke Skywalker in Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi), angering Anna. Through the window, she sees the KND hurry toward the building, and presses the button to deactivate the School Defense System. However, Stickybeard and his Pirates, along with Windsor, also break into the building. An angered President Jimmy sends the Honor Roll Nerds to attack the intruders. Windsor subdues the Honor Roll by attacking them with ties. The Candy Pirates fight off the Hall Monitors, with their candy cane swords surprisingly holding up quite well against the Hall Monitors' rulers. Numbuh One Saves the Day Anna, who is leaning against a fountain watching the mayhem, heads back to Jimmy's office to rescue Numbuh One. However, Windsor runs up beside her. The two kids push and shove, each trying to get to the office first. As they burst into the office, Windsor throws Anna at the wall. A golden trophy on a high shelf (the Gallagher Olympics Gold Trophy, as seen in Operation: O.L.Y.M.P.I.C.S.) falls off and clonks Numbuh One on the head. He falls unconscious, but opens his eyes just as Windsor grabs his arm, telling Anna to keep her dirty hands off "Comrade Executive #1". Numbuh One slaps Windsor, startling him and making him remove his hand. Numbuh One runs outside and tells his team "Kids Next Door, Battle Stations!" The KND are delighted to have their leader back, and attack with increased vigor. Later, all of the villains, including Anna, are being led to the S.P.R.A.Y.S.H.I.P. by an irate Numbuh 86, who mutters "Stupid enemies, fighting over a boy". Numbuh Three hugs Numbuh One, saying she's happy to have him back, and he asks if he was gone. The team laughs, and we are taken to the Delightful Manor, where the Delightfuls are also laughing, having been told Father's latest plan to destroy the KND. The Fanfic ends. THE END (AT LEAST, I THINK IT IS?) Quotes *(After the Candy Pirate KND tell Stickybeard and his Candy Pirates their fake history) Stickybeard: Arrgh. (scratches his chin) Makes sense. Numbuh 1/Captain Nigey: Curse you, Stickybeard! Yur as thick as yur beard. Stickybeard: Ye are lookin' at walkin' the plank, ye are! Me takes offense at that! Numbuh 2/Sugar Dude: What's his problem? Numbuh 5/Goody Girl: Capt. must've got on his nerves. *(Nigel/Numbuh One and President Jimmy are in the latter's office) Joe: How d'ya know he doesn't remember the KND? (to himself) I hope he does. Jimmy: I question him, that's how. (to Numbuh 1) Hey, kid, how's Numbuh 362 these days? Nigel: Eh? Number Three-Sixty-Two? Is that some kind of low grade point average? (Camera pans to King Larry and the Grade Point Average Army, hanging out near Jimmy's chair with Anna) GPAA Leader: Hey, you dissin' Grade Point Averages?! Larry: Hey, Jimmy's interrogating Numbuh One. Shut up. Nigel: Who's this Numbuh One? Jimmy: Brilliant!! Anna: (sighing) Oh, Nigel, what happened to you? *(Anna is in Jimmy's office fighting with Windsor over Numbuh One) Anna: Hey, let go of me, you tie-wearing creep! Windsor: You let go! (He throws Anna off him, causing her to hit the wall; a gold trophy on a shelf falls off and hits Numbuh One on the noggin) Windsor: (as Anna regains consciousness) Hey, he's mine, 'kay? Let's go, Comrade Executive #1! Numbuh One: (coming around and slapping Windsor's hand) I don't know who you think I am, Windsor, but I'm not your slave! Anna: Nigel! Numbuh One: (climbing to his feet) Don't call me that, I'm Numbuh One.